Monday, 9 December 2013

Tarot Diaries | Change

Universal Waite Tarot Deck

New series alert! Welcome to the Tarot Diaries. I've wanted to create a tarot series for a while and have pondered long and hard about the approach I'd like to take. There are plenty of brilliant tarot card-by-card resources out there, and I wanted to try something a little bit different.

the Bluebird & the Robin is a very personal blog in that I'm always writing about my thoughts, feelings and experiences, and writing a generic interpretation of the cards just didn't seem to be working for me. A few weeks ago I started posting daily three card 'tarot trios' on Instagram in which I take a personal, rather than general, approach, outlining how the cards relate to specific experiences I'm going through. It suddenly hit me that this is the angle I should take on my blog; a personal approach simultaneously allowing personal reflection with a chance for readers to see how tarot links directly to 'real life'. And in line with my Anxiety Diaries series, naming the tarot series was a no brainer! 

I really hope readers find the weekly Tarot Diaries posts interesting and insightful, and if you're new to tarot then welcome! Take a seat and settle down for some personal tarot 101...

3 of Wands | 3 of Swords | The Hermit

The above tarot trio is one taken from two weeks ago. I chose to feature it as the first Tarot Diaries post as it carries some very striking imagery and the situation it pertains to is something ongoing today, albeit from a more peaceful place now. 

Immediately after drawing the cards I was struck by the two '3' cards, the number 3 in tarot suggesting movement and growth. The 3 of Wands, with it's flourishing energy encouraging putting plans into action, links directly to the energy surrounding wedding planning. We're in the final stages now and it's surprising how much we've still got left to do! It's a very exciting time and it's thrilling to see how our plans are becoming real. 

Yet with the exciting and energetic 3 of Wands is the 3 of Swords, which suggests an element of pain in moving forwards. The 3 of Swords links to a friendship breakdown, rife with miscommunication and unintentional pain, built up over a long time most likely due to not knowing what to say to make things better. No malicious intent; just miscommunication and buried feelings. Growing through this type of change is painful. 

Sometimes you need to sit with your pain and accept how rubbish it feels in order to understand it. I spent a lot of time a fortnight ago crying, shouting, and basically wallowing in how I was feeling, and sometimes that's necessary in order to work out what's really going on inside. I battled with a series of questions: Have I acted in the best way I could have? Have I been accountable for my actions? What am I really upset about?

The Hermit encourages taking time to sit with your feelings and ask questions in order to heal. We can't ignore pain. What am I really afraid of? That's the question I felt The Hermit was asking of me. My sadness felt disproportionate in some ways. I couldn't stop crying and I had a big panic attack and came down with a wretched cold and sore throat. It was as if my body caved in under the fear and upset I was feeling. I dug deep and realised that as well as being upset by the situation at hand I was also upset for other reasons beyond what was happening at the time; I was terrified of change in general and the uncertainty change brings.

 Change doesn't always feel comfortable and I hate feeling out of my comfort zone. Change is something I've always struggled with, yet through the CBT sessions I've had over the past six months or so I've started to develop healthier coping strategies and I know I'm much more equipped to face change head on. There's no reason to feel so terrified anymore.

As soon as I hit on this realisation, I started to heal. Change can be a real bitch at times but it's a part of life. I gradually started to feel less scared and less shaken over the past few weeks and I have a fresh determination to act from love and compassion instead of from anger and fear when facing change. The heart in the 3 of Swords may hurt, but it's also a vivid symbol of our ability to love.

     post signature

No comments :

Post a Comment

Thanks for taking the time to stop by! I read and reply to every comment and would love to hear what you think x